I remembered that last week I promised a 2015 sports preview column and instead wrote about the Pats yesterday. So here it is, your Boston sports preview for 2015.
This year, we’ll break it down by teams.
The Pats are going to host the Ravens this weekend. The game will be close in the first half before they go complete eff you mode in the second half in a commanding, statement win. They follow it up be embarrassing the Broncos next week before traveling to the desert to exercise the demons from 2007 and win the Super Bowl over the Dallas Cowboys (huh?).
The don’t dazzle by drafting an offensive lineman in the first round in the draft which pisses off the fans. He ends up solidifying the offense line next season as Tom Brady has a career resurgence and breaks the now retired Peyton Manning’s TD record in the regular season. They end up going 13-3 behind a healthier tougher defense and lock up the #1 seed in the AFC again.
The Sox stumble out of the gate. They lose Sandoval early to an injury that pretty much keeps him sidelined to the All Star break. That combined with the fact that Hanley Ramirez is abysmal in the field and batting .230 make the signings look really bad. Still without pitching they limp into the All-Star break still in the hunt because the division is so bad.
They end up fading in August and the infighting becomes headline worthy by the beginning of September. They end up finishing a game out of last place and Uncle Larry goes crazy with the checkbook after the season handing out ridiculous contracts to guys just to try and fill seats.
The outrage reaches a fever pitch as Peter Chiarelli doesn’t do anything to address any of the team needs. The team fails to reach the playoffs and the fans are screaming for his head. He signs Milan Lucic to an absurd $7 million a year deal despite the fact that he finishes the season with only 12 goals.
They swing and miss again near the top of the first round and are already seven games out of the final playoff spot by December. Neely still doesn’t fire Chiarelli but raises ticket prices again.
Despite the fans rooting very hard for a lottery pick, the team manages to snag the last playoff spot on the final game of the regular season. They’re immediately swept out of the playoffs and take solace in their multiple first round picks. They too swing and miss in the draft and end up with four more power forwards that further clog up their front court, but they’re not worried because they can all shoot threes.
By Causeway Day next year they’ve already lost seven games and look to be a lottery winner but they traded away their 2016 first round pick on draft night when they were able to get another pick in the 20s in the 2015 draft. Danny Ainge, like Peter Chiarelli, isn’t fired but instead applauded for his efforts in rebuilding the team.
So needless to say, I’m not very optimistic on the Boston sports front. The Patriots seem to be our only bastion of hope.
Here’s hoping I’m wrong on so many levels and we’re living the high life all 2015.